Monday, January 24, 2005

Colourized

Here’s a couple thoughts about some popular colours:

Red: The first (and only) guy I ever kicked in the balls used to wear a Red t-shirt all the time. I give this colour 1 out of 5 stars.

Orange: Can’t rhyme anything with it, and the juice gives me cold-sores on the inside of my mouth. 1 out of 5 stars.

Yellow: I’m tempted to say I hate it, because it’s the colour of cowardice. But I own four Yellow shirts. I’ll pass on this one.

Green: It’s the colour of the great outdoors, money and envy (which is, if nothing else, a great motivator)…I give Green 5 out of a possible 5 stars. It's hard to actually think of anything green, that is bad.

Blue: This colour reminds me of the giant, Blue exercise ball sitting in my back-room, and how little I use it. And how unfit I am, and how I told everyone I was totally going to do yoga, and then quit after eight (8) sessions. Also, it's the favourite colour of the Blue Man Group. ½ out of 5 stars.

Indigo: This colour is so much like blue, it doesn't deserve its own spot on the rainbow. A few people can tell the difference between Dr. Pepper and Mr. Pibb. But most can’t. Same goes for Blue and Indigo. I’m not even going to give Indigo a rating.

Violet: Smallest member of the violin family. 2 out of 5 stars.

Tawny: I was in “Tawny Troop” in cub-scouts. There was “Red Troop”, “Blue Troop”, “Green Troop”, “Black Troop”. And then us, “Tawny Troop”. It was a bit like playing in the NHL on a team called the Pittsburgh Piggybanks. 1 out of 5 stars.

Peach: This is the colour that used to be called “Flesh” by the racists at Crayola Crayon. 1 out of 5 stars.

5 Comments:

Blogger Tammy said...

Dude, you totally forgot pink.

January 25, 2005 at 11:09 AM  
Blogger Baco-Vegetarian said...

My many thoughts about pink are my own business.

January 25, 2005 at 2:52 PM  
Blogger Baco-Vegetarian said...

Pink is not a colour. It is an attitude.

January 25, 2005 at 3:58 PM  
Blogger ... said...

is tawny like beige?

January 25, 2005 at 7:18 PM  
Blogger Baco-Vegetarian said...

Tawny is the beige of the beige world. I think the Cub Scout leadership thought maybe it was cool because its the colour of lions. But its really more the colour of 30 year old motel lampshades in rooms that allow smoking.

January 26, 2005 at 10:37 AM  

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